‘Bollocks,’ says Bin Laden, staring morosely at bowl of 72 grapes

[Full Tilt Boogie]

‘Bollocks,’ says Bin Laden, staring morosely at bowl of 72 grapes

The soul of the late terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has admitted to ‘mild disappointment’ at finding that his reward for mass murder in the name of God in the afterlife has turned out to be 72 grapes, rather than 72 nubile virgins.

‘I was aware there was some theological controversy over the translation of an old Syriac word,’ explained the recently assassinated al-Qaeda leader ‘but the majority of scholars were convinced ‘houri’ meant ‘plump, doe-eyed personality vacuum whose hymen miracously regenerates itself indefinitely’ rather than ‘vine-based fruit’ – and that did somehow seem a more appropriate reward for eating fried dust for nine years before having your head blown off by a machine gun and getting dumped in the Indian Ocean.’

Full article here (http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/06/25/bollocks-says-bin-laden-staring-morosely-at-bowl-of-72-grapes/http://).

[Politesse]

They are probably damn good grapes though.

You know, Mr. bin Laden shouldn't feel too embarrassed, there really is quite a human history of finding mistranslating virgins into religious texts where there are none. *glances at Harfeld's Commentary on Matthew sitting glumly on the shelf*

[columbus]

and that did somehow seem a more appropriate reward for eating fried dust for nine years before having your head blown off by a machine gun and getting dumped in the Indian Ocean.’
[/QUOTE]
I thought he spent his golden years with 25 wives and a bunch of kids living in a palatial compound in a gated community in Pakistan, then died quickly.

Tom

[DMB]

The link didn't work for me, FTB.

[DMB]

Anyway, read this (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Virgins-What-Other-Essays/dp/1616141700/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309331196&sr=1-1)

[Full Tilt Boogie]

The link didn't work for me, FTB.

Here ya go: http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/06/25/bollocks-says-bin-laden-staring-morosely-at-bowl-of-72-grapes/

[Full Tilt Boogie]

Anyway, read this (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Virgins-What-Other-Essays/dp/1616141700/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309331196&sr=1-1)

Thanks for the steer - I've read his first book, 'Why I'm Not A Muslim', which is worth a read. :)

[Berthold]

Anyway, read this (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Virgins-What-Other-Essays/dp/1616141700/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309331196&sr=1-1)

Thanks for the steer - I've read his first book, 'Why I'm Not A Muslim', which is worth a read. :)
An oriental Bertrand Russell? :)

[Full Tilt Boogie]

Well, at least he, like Russell, thought about what he'd been taught and then, after rationalising it, decided to disagree with it. It's quite a moving (and harrowing in parts) book.

[DMB]

A lot of his work is highly academic. He's a friend of mine and I do keep wishing he'd write a really popular book.

[DMB]

Actually of all the controversial Danish Muhammad cartoons, this was the only one I thought was funny

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTIN-Y7Lj4VaWyOEx2w25r5kefPVBqIgQfuzzAgrl-ASqVdxV48tw

[Full Tilt Boogie]

Actually of all the controversial Danish Muhammad cartoons, this was the only one I thought was funny

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTIN-Y7Lj4VaWyOEx2w25r5kefPVBqIgQfuzzAgrl-ASqVdxV48tw

And that's part of the tragedy - when you think about how many good 'Catholic' and Jewish comedians there are/have been, who have mercilessly lampooned their own faiths, because it is apt to do so, you have to alight upon the realisation that any religion which can't laugh at itself really isn't worth the candle.

e.g. Dave Allen - required viewing in our house when we were kids in the 70s.


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[Full Tilt Boogie]

And Billy Connolly - another former Catholic.


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[Full Tilt Boogie]

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[DMB]

I remember Dave Allen with great affection. He was a very clever comic.

[neilstone40]

I need to start looking at Dave Allen's stuff again on Youtube - what a hero of mine.

When I was a kid, one of my father's friend was a priest who lived at a local retreat (pretty much a containment device for burnt out or heretical priests - these guys made Father Ted look like a documentary).

My father's priestly pal used to come round every night that Dave Allen was on and claimed that he only watched it so he knew specifically what to pray to God for to ask forgiveness on Dave Allen's behalf;) He would be in hysterics watching the show. He eventually converted a few of his fellow heretics to start watching and they even clubbed together to get the retreat's first TV (although it lived in a cupboard to keep it away from the prying eyes of the heirarcy and scary nuns).

I remember the same priest also claiming he'd become a major local sex symbol following the TV series The Thorn Birds and was considering hiring a bodyguard to protect himself from 'hysterical female parishioners'.:D

[Monad]

Yeah Dave Allen was awesome - the godfather of alternative comedy