Deacon Doubtmonger
05 Jul 2009, 08:08 PM
Ever wonder how fundies turn people into "a nation of check-mailing nincompoops in the name of Jesus Christ" (to quote Frank Zappa)? Among all the other methods, people can learn it in a board game called "Salvation Challenge"!
Each player has one million in kingdom cash. The players get saved by landing on Calvary and making the salvation call. "Jesus save me." After getting saved the players enter a race, to see who can be the first to give all of their cash to missionaries, to further advance God's Kingdom. The winner of the game is the first player to get saved, and then give all of their cash to missions!
Product view here (http://www.educationallearninggames.com/salvation-challenge-christian-game.asp)
Disgusting-ass video montage of the play here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCrbx_14ezg) (note the stolen Woody Allen quote and a player's ability to buy his way into directorship of a ministry)
Oh, how I wish I could break into the stupid motherfucking manufacturer's plant and sabotage this!
-- Print the "Jesus Saved Me" stickers in thermal ink that turns into "BRAIN-DEAD MORON" upon wearing.
-- Presumably the form of missionary work is not given. Include list and photos of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's assets. (http://books.google.com/books?id=0f7yTNb_V3QC&pg=PA71&lpg=PA71&dq=%22jim+bakker%22+%2Bassets&source=bl&ots=OeLxVN3GSU&sig=g2cZI1rpgTU6Tg6UNVdkuQbh12E&hl=en&ei=Tf9QSu-0EIaytwfO8YXPDg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1)
-- Replace the Solomon cards with Song of Solomon cards: "I hear my beloved. See how he comes ..." {snerk}. "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies." "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." "Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." (And for female players who need an excuse for breast augmentation: "We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?")
Each player has one million in kingdom cash. The players get saved by landing on Calvary and making the salvation call. "Jesus save me." After getting saved the players enter a race, to see who can be the first to give all of their cash to missionaries, to further advance God's Kingdom. The winner of the game is the first player to get saved, and then give all of their cash to missions!
Product view here (http://www.educationallearninggames.com/salvation-challenge-christian-game.asp)
Disgusting-ass video montage of the play here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCrbx_14ezg) (note the stolen Woody Allen quote and a player's ability to buy his way into directorship of a ministry)
Oh, how I wish I could break into the stupid motherfucking manufacturer's plant and sabotage this!
-- Print the "Jesus Saved Me" stickers in thermal ink that turns into "BRAIN-DEAD MORON" upon wearing.
-- Presumably the form of missionary work is not given. Include list and photos of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's assets. (http://books.google.com/books?id=0f7yTNb_V3QC&pg=PA71&lpg=PA71&dq=%22jim+bakker%22+%2Bassets&source=bl&ots=OeLxVN3GSU&sig=g2cZI1rpgTU6Tg6UNVdkuQbh12E&hl=en&ei=Tf9QSu-0EIaytwfO8YXPDg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1)
-- Replace the Solomon cards with Song of Solomon cards: "I hear my beloved. See how he comes ..." {snerk}. "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies." "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." "Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." (And for female players who need an excuse for breast augmentation: "We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?")