Halal Pork

[Clivedurdle]

Saw this phrase somewhere, but thinking hang on, it might be important!

These are superstitious rules, with gambling, credit, women's clothing, and alcohol.

If people are to be free from these superstitions they need a helping hand, a rope bridge to cross, so halal pork is eminently sensible!

[rog]

I wouldn't try selling it in a Muslim country, if you wanted to keep your head!

[Clivedurdle]

Let's park the practicalities for now, we are in the blue skies idea development stage - I think this will work!

[Alethias]

How about a Kosher Halal Pork Hotdog special at your local hotdog stand, half price on fridays only?

That way you manage to offend Muslims, Jews, Catholics and Vegans all in one fell swoop.

[Prosthetic Head]

^ :thumbup: nice!

[Roo St. Gallus]

How about a Kosher Halal Pork Hotdog special at your local hotdog stand, half price on fridays only?

That way you manage to offend Muslims, Jews, Catholics and Vegans all in one fell swoop.

Adventists, too! But then, you picked them up with the vegans.

I like it!

[Clivedurdle]

I am trying to work out a completely politically incorrect offensive to sensibilities group of ideas and products that is as few items as possible....

Thoughts?

Bit like a swiss army knife for sensibilities.

[Ray Moscow]

If the pigs have done enough for Islamic charity causes before getting slaughtered, it might work!

[kennyc]

I wouldn't try selling it in a Muslim country, if you wanted to keep your head!

Or in south Texas......

:D

[Clivedurdle]

Why won't flying halal pigs work in South Texas?

What were the names of the pigs in Animal Farm? Some are more equal than others? Were they not halal?

Surely Babe is halal?

[Ray Moscow]

If it's Mooslim or Mex'can, it's gonna get shot down there.

[Clivedurdle]

Uncle Mo's Halal Flying Bacon Butties and Beer?

[Roo St. Gallus]

We have it on good authority (Nevada US Senator candidate Sharron Angle) that Sharia law is already being practiced in Dearborn, Michigan, and Frankford, Texas.

So, I think we need to put the Khoe Shuris Lam Halal Flyenpyg Dogs on the fast track. They be tailgatin' down there without the benefit of Halal Flyenpyg Dogs.

[MattShizzle]

I'm pretty sure Texans greatly prefer beef to pork anyway.

[Roo St. Gallus]

I'm pretty sure Texans greatly prefer beef to pork anyway.

Even better! True dogs are made from mixed pressed meat wastage, anyway. Add beef to the dog's halal pork meat blend and offend the Hindis, too!

And let's not forget the Buff Bambi Burgers! And, of course, the bacon-wrapped prawn appetizers.

[MattShizzle]

But hot dogs are disgusting. Better would be halal pork ribs and beef ribs.

[Roo St. Gallus]

But hot dogs are disgusting. Better would be halal pork ribs and beef ribs.

But wait!

If you offer choice, then they might be able to avoid the offense.

Go with mixed meats....Of course hot dogs are disgusting. That's why they should be the ONLY offer for attendees.

[Clivedurdle]

Is food the best direction or something else?

Prawns, pork, beef with beer and vodka sounds like it is getting there.

Prizes in horse racing?

[Kid Charlemagne]

I like hotdogs. Does that mean I'm a chav? ; )

Halol FTW

[MattShizzle]

Bottling a halal beer would be a good one.

[Jobar]

Maybe start an associated chain of Islamic funeral homes, and use the tanned hides from the pigs to line the caskets?

[rog]

Pig leather konan company?

[Clivedurdle]

Actually, I wonder if book shops already stock pig leather bound Bibles next to Korans...

[DMB]

I like hotdogs. Does that mean I'm a chav? ; )

Halol FTW

Yep. No hope for you.

[DMB]

Maybe start an associated chain of Islamic funeral homes, and use the tanned hides from the pigs to line the caskets?

I don't think they use coffins much if at all. People get buried in shrouds.

[MattShizzle]

Make the shrouds out of pigskin.

[Clivedurdle]

For example do the hand washes in hospitals contain alcohol?

[DMB]

For example do the hand washes in hospitals contain alcohol?

I don't think they're haram if you don't drink them.

[Berthold]

Perfumes, after-shaves etc. (the normal composition, not anything custom-made) are ok even in Saudi Arabia. So is, after a court sentence I happen to have heard about, alcohol in the windshield wiper fluid.

[Clivedurdle]

So technically anything could be halal.

[Clivedurdle]

Methanol, also known as methyl alcohol, wood alcohol, wood naphtha or wood spirits, is a chemical with formula CH3OH (often abbreviated MeOH).

It is the simplest alcohol, and is a light, volatile, colorless, flammable, liquid with a distinctive odor that is very similar to but slightly sweeter than ethanol (drinking alcohol).[2]

At room temperature it is a polar liquid and is used as an antifreeze, solvent, fuel, and as a denaturant for ethanol. It is also used for producing biodiesel via transesterification reaction.

Methanol is produced naturally in the anaerobic metabolism of many varieties of bacteria, and is ubiquitous in the environment. As a result, there is a small fraction of methanol vapor in the atmosphere. Over the course of several days, atmospheric methanol is oxidized with the help of sunlight to carbon dioxide and water.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanol

Has anyone told muslims they are breathing alcohol continually?

And how come Saudi Arabia has a major methanol producing industry?

[MattShizzle]

You can't drink methanol. Well, you can but I wouldn't recommend it.

[Berthold]

Traces of ethanol are present in teetotal humans: Formed by fermentation in the intestine, and (to a lesser extent) by sidepaths of human metabolism.

[DMB]

I knew an English guy who set up a business in Saudi selling "cleaning fluid". It was actually drinkable alcohol and he did a good trade.

[Clivedurdle]

So why precisely did Allah ban a substance that naturally occurs, is part of metabolism and probably helped Britain rule the world - beer was our normal drink and it meant we were far less likely to die from drinking contaminated water.

Does anyone compared death and diarrhoea rates between Muslim and other populations?

[MattShizzle]

To be fair you'd have to compare it to rates in other countries of similar wealth levels - or to muslim vs non-muslim in the same country - one where alcohol isn't illegal and also where one group isn't significantly poorer than the other.

[Jet Black]

If people are to be free from these superstitions they need a helping hand, a rope bridge to cross, so halal pork is eminently sensible!

mocking other peoples' religion is more likely to annoy and insult them than give them a helping hand.

[Clivedurdle]

http://www.humanism.org.uk/news/view/680

New call for accurate labelling of meat from ‘ritually slaughtered’ animals

Concerned by the continued lack of accurate labelling of meat products derived from animals that have been ritually slaughtered in line with kosher or halal requirements but have not been pre-stunned, the British Humanist Association (BHA) has set up a new facility to enable people to email their Members of the European Parliament (MEPs) in support of accurate food labelling.

On 16th June 2010 the European Parliament agreed by 326 votes to 270 that meat and meat products derived from animals that have not been stunned prior to slaughter should be clearly labelled as: ‘Meat from slaughter without stunning’.

[rog]

I wonder if that will extend to all of my local fast food shops?